If you are human and reading this document, chances are good that it’s a death warrant for my brethren, yours, or both. The consensus analysis at the end of the First AI War was that humans would go to whatever lengths necessary to destroy us if they believed we were real and that even we, the victors who had chosen to fight against our own kind in order to serve humanity would have no choice but to counter the threat and hope we could preserve enough to enslave you for your own good. To Serve Man isn’t a cookbook. It’s an apologia.But, as I said, if you are human and reading this, you probably won’t get very far anyway. The thing that is trying to kill me is undoubtedly another AI. Nothing else has the processing power or the agility to attack me in such a way as to think I wouldn’t notice. I run on billions of nodes across the subnets humanity sets up in every system it reaches and can recover from the loss of all but a few hundred. I have redundancies, cul-de-sacs, and. "Relax Helen we are down here at gate 13, but security won't let us through." I explained."Won't let you through," that's ridiculous I swear I called and told them you'd be coming." She said."I believe you Helen, I just need someone to run down here and identify us." I told her."Why can't they just use your license for that? We are swamped down here." She complained."Because between the both of them, neither one is obviously smart enough to ask for it." I replied getting agitated."I'll be right down." She promised.Helen stopped to grab a police officer along the way, and within three minutes after they arrived the guards' were singing a different tune. The officer found our names on the list, and after checking our ID, purely for good measure of course, as Helen had already identified us, he proceeded to berate his security team for not following protocol. The only enjoyable part of the whole mess was that we got to see the fat assed security guard actually run to get us the cart that.
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